copyright 1998, James Waldron Design, all rights reserved 
 

8.16.98
Stockholm, Sweden 
N ? deg. ? min. 
E ? deg. ? min. 

Just spent the afternoon and evening watching Hollywood-produced films. Could the Avengers have sucked more? Lethal Weapon 4, however, lived up to my expectations and made me smile. Welcome back to the civilized world. Movies cost ten bucks here. 

I've been here a week. I've been wined, dined, and worked. I gave a lecture, saw some concerts, lusted after western women, and slept in a real bed with lace pillowcovers. I have a cell phone, washed my clothes in electric appliances, listened to a stereo, watched television, ate at McDonalds and drank expensive liquor. I consulted a friend on job interviews, read the New York Times, and drank ginger ale from England. My tea water was heated by Philips, my ice cubes cooled by Toshiba, and I cleaned dishes in a compact machine by Husqvana. I bought a Panasonic as my mail was delivered by DHL. It does not seem real. I'm back in the real world and it has not skipped a beat. 

I want to go back to Indonesia. I need the challenge of finding food that won't kill me. I have to live in an empty, dusty, insecure room where the police do not drive Volvos, and people don't look at you funny when you say hello in the street. I can't be in a place that works according to a plan when I don't have one myself. 

Coming back to the real world, and me without concrete goals, makes it an alien place. I want to retreat. Retreat to a place where the decision to go diving in the morning or afternoon is the toughest choice of the day. Where ten dollars will house you for eight days, and feed you for five. 

I don't know what to do when I grow up. 

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